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Dating…I Mean Job Searching Symptoms

July 11, 2011

I’m convinced that job searching and dating are one in the same. If my theory is correct – how can we use self-help/dating advice/romantic comedies as case studies for staying sane during the search process?

First let’s break down some symptoms of daters (according to moi) and align them with a type of job searcher.

  1. Obsession. You meet Mr. Right (or right now?), go on 1, if you’re lucky 2 dates and realize ok, he is the one. I need to date this guy, short-term, long-term, I don’t care. You are religiously (ok obsessively) checking your voicemail, Facebook, Twitter, texts, and wait I should dig out my old pager in case he pages me, right?? It’s not weird to be Googling everyone in your life to see if you’ve written about me or anyone else you could  be dating, right? What if I gave him the wrong number – I should probably call AT&T to make sure my vmail is working, could you call my cell just to check? Come on. Please???
  2. Meh. You don’t date that often, but you aren’t opposed to it. I mean, you are getting older and still don’t have a steady boyfriend? Enter McDreamy. We met and hey, you are pretty hot. OK actually, lots of people would kill to date you. Everyone who is anyone in our circle of friends knows who you are. We dated, you want to see me more. I’m pretty jazzed that you want to keep seeing me. But then you ask me to travel with you. So I do – we go far away from my home and I realize. Shit. I don’t really want to hang out with you anymore. You’re kind of cocky, you have a nice face, but where is the substance dude? You ask me to move with you – to take this to the next level. My friends tell me, are you crazy how could you say no?? But inside, I’m just kind of meh. I don’t really think I would change my life for you. Sorry toots.
  3. I’ll just stay at home with my cat(s). You just got out of a relationship (or maybe you were dating a few people at once and decided to call it quits). You can date whomever you want because hey, you’re cute, smart, funny. But somehow lately, you’ve been having the worst luck in the romance department. If it’s not one thing with a guy, it’s another. So instead, I’ll just stay at home with my cats. Those few times I go out, I may be interested in you, but you really have to be perfect for me to pursue you. Pur-fect. I’m perfectly content being alone and will pick and choose who and when I date.
  4. OMG. YOU HAVE TO MEET MY FRIEND – YOU WILL LOVE HIM! I just know you two will be perfect for each other. He is the full package. You might have to move to date him – but you are meant to be. I know Sally who knows Jeff who has a cousin that is bff’s with him. I once planned a party with him so I don’t know him that well but he seemed cool over the phone and e-mail. Plus, you haven’t been on a date in a while, so come on give him a try!

Seriously, think about it. The Placement Exchange is easily the student affairs version of Speed Dating or Match.com. Review my profile and let’s chat via e-mail and meet up to see if there is chemistry. I’ve had many a friend exhibit symptom #1 in dating and job searching and drive themselves bonkers. This also goes for searching for postings. How many times have you logged onto to your Facebook/online dating profile to see if someone has sent you a message and alternatively, how many times a day do you refresh higheredjobs.com? If it gets posted today, it will still be there tomorrow – promise.

My dating/job search life is a mix of Symptom #2  & #4. I’d like a job and maybe even got offered a job, but it just wasn’t right. Lots of friends and colleagues have been “introducing” or setting up blind dates and while I am SO grateful – I know myself best and need to trust my instincts! I know there will be the right guy/job and I am hoping there will be the one that changes the “meh” to “hell yes!”

These symptoms are a sample of the dating/job search process I’ve seen happen within myself, friends and colleagues. Other symptoms you’ve seen? I just know that if this process is anything like dating, then I need to make my self available for a lifestyle change, keep an open mind, and remember not to settle! More thoughts on dating and searching to come…

p.s. I recognize I used “him” as the dating subject – this can definitely apply to all types of dating preferences!

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. Amber permalink
    July 11, 2011 8:03 pm

    Very enlightening post! There are definitely parallels as a few colleagues and I have noticed as well. I love that you were inclusive in your end note, “all types of dating preferences!” Cheers to you, and catchy blog name, I like it. 🙂

  2. July 14, 2011 8:20 pm

    Ah so connected to this content! I am what I think is a predating point now, I know I should be out there but there doesn’t seem to be much to go after.

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